


Out of the water and into the sand

by puzzle_shipper



Category: Naruto
Genre: Action/Adventure, Cultists, Humor, Indiana Jones AU, Kidnapping, M/M, bored tailed beasts, lots of sass, old temples have some snakes. but not too much, sand, someone give shukaku a drink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-28 05:30:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17176808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puzzle_shipper/pseuds/puzzle_shipper
Summary: They really do get into situations like that. All the time.If you ask Itama, Izuna makes a lovely damselBut he really should stop picking up weird things.





	Out of the water and into the sand

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PandaFlower](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PandaFlower/gifts).



> Happy (Very Belated) Birthday!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

 

The mid-afternoon sun and dry air greeted them when they arrived in Suna.

There were no officials to meet them, even though they had arrived on their invitation. Itama took no offence to that, while Madara grumbled something about the damn heat and how sand was horrible and his falcon cawed in agreement. Izuna laughed at his older brother’s antics, and Tobirama ignored them all, busy wrapping an entire scarf around his own head while glaring at the sun as if had personally offended him.

“Are you sure you two don’t want to come with us to meet the director?” Itama asked after they had settled in the hotel. Both Izuna and Tobirama shook their heads.

“I’d really rather check out the town than meet some crusty government official.” Izuna cheerfully said.

“And I want to hit up their bookstores and libraries for more information they might have about the missing artifact.” Tobirama added.

 Madara looked at the two of them in suspicion. They had gotten into enough situations to warrant it.

“Alright, try not to cause too much destruction.” He said, then turned and went out of the door, ignoring their twin looks of offence and the murmurs

“He has the gall to tell that to us?!” Izuna and Tobirama’s irritated “After what I’ve seen him do? Rude.”  
“I’m sure he didn’t mean that.” Itama smiled reassuringly at the two of them, hoping to prevent any future bloodshed. “Have fun, see you later!” he was out the door before they could argue that Madara did in fact mean it.

 

* * *

 

Three hours later found Tobirama and Izuna in a small dusty shop filled with all kinds of things. From statues to ancient-looking scrolls and well-made swords and knives, which Izuna was currently admiring. Tobirama was off to the side doing something or arguing with the shopkeeper, Izuna wasn’t sure and didn’t care much, because he suddenly noticed a nicely crafted kitsune pendant on one of the shelves. He hummed as he took it in his hand – it was a very lovely pendant with a small red gem. The light reflected curiously from it so he brought it closer to his face to see and a hand on his shoulder startled him, almost making him drop it. He swore and turned around. Tobirama was beside him now, gaze caught by something. Izuna watched as he reached for a pendant too. This one was nekomata shaped and it had a blue gem.  
Both were silent for a moment.

“So I think we should get those, they look cool.” Izuna said.

Tobirama hummed in agreement and went to talk with the shopkeeper again. Izuna grabbed the interesting knife he had been admiring along with the pendant and hurried after him. After they exited the shop they put on their new pendants. The gems shone bright under the strong dessert sun.  
They continued exploring the town and soon completely forgot about the pendants hanging from their necks.

They were arguing about what to have for lunch by one of the food stands and so did not notice the way a passerby almost goggled at them and then hurriedly ran in the opposite direction.

They returned once to the hotel to drop off their many purchases, because someone just could not resist all the old books. And someone else had bought at least ten knives and a few swords.

(None of these would be able to help them.)

 

Izuna yelled in offence as a stranger grabbed the bag he was carrying and ran away. He ran after him, not waiting for Tobirama to catch up, following him in an alley. Once there he saw only an empty street. Izuna carefully moved forward but suddenly found himself held in a tight grip at knife point.

“Let him go.” ordered Tobirama, who had just ran into the alley.

The man sneered at him and walked backwards, dragging Izuna away with him. Tobirama moved to follow.

“Don’t move!” the assailant warned and pressed the knife to Izuna’s skin. Tobirama stopped in his tracks and placating raised his hands.

“What do you want?” he asked cautiously. He also noted other people had appeared and one of them was trying to sneak up on him. He scoffed internally.

The assailant opened his mouth to demand something and in that same moment Izuna elbowed him viciously in the kidneys. As the man wheezed in pain, Izuna head-butted him and freed himself from his hold.  
Meanwhile Tobirama swiftly aimed a kick at the person behind him, effectively sending them to the ground. This didn’t look like a mugging. They had to get out of here now!

“Go!” he snapped at Izuna and the other wasted no time in running for the other end of the alley.

Tobirama followed, giving the fallen assailant a kick to prevent him from chasing them.  
They got to the next alley. The left part was a dead end, the right was… also a dead end. They turned around and suddenly the sand came to life around them.

The last thing they saw was a small red-haired child staring impassively at them.

 

* * *

 

Izuna glared and tugged uselessly at the ropes binding him.

"Why do we always get into these sorts of messes?" he grumbled.

“You. You’re the one who gets into messes like this!” corrected him Tobirama, who was also bound like some sort of a sacrifice.

Which was what was probably going to happen to them? At least judging by what he had managed to translate from the chanting the cultists did before they painted their faces with a strange ink and left hurriedly. Or they could be eaten by the snakes he was sure were hiding in many of the crevices of this damn cavern-temple.

“Well the view sucks,” continued Izuna, completely ignoring his comments, “it could certainly use some spicing up!”  
“What, the worn stone that’s undoubtedly also biting into your back, the huge cavern that could only vaguely be called a temple, and the gap in the ceiling that lets in light, not enough for you?” Tobirama asked dryly.

“No, they’re not!” huffed Izuna and tugged on his bonds in an attempt to loosen them again. Tobirama stared at him impassively.  

“If you bleed out from those, I will resort to necromancy to bring you back. In this, I’m sure I will have Itama and Madara’s full support.” he narrowed his eyes.

“No doubt about it.” Izuna snorted.

They lapsed into silence, focusing on the task of freeing themselves. Suddenly Tobirama growled something unintelligible in frustration.

“Cheer up,” said Izuna “at least we can bitch about it”.

“But of course. I’m so thrilled I can talk about this with you.” Tobirama snorted.

“Fuck you, Senju! I’m a delight! Besides, I’m sure Itama is on the way and brother has to be with him.” replied hotly Izuna.

 

* * *

 

Madara glared at the damned sun and attempted to make his hair smaller to no avail.

“How about we avoid Suna for the next few years?” he bit out.

“Sure, we’ll do that. As long as Suna avoids us too.” Itama said dryly.

A kestrel landed on Madara's shoulder and pulled with its beak on his fringe.

“Did you find them? See them?” he asked it urgently.

The bird let out a high whistle and took off, Madara and Itama hurried after it. If getting in the temple was so damn hard, they shuddered to imagine how they were going to get out intact.

 

* * *

 

Izuna hissed in pain as the last of the ropes fell from him, then took a breath and in one smooth motion he was on his feet, looking around for any way they could get down from the platform. He frowned – the drop was too steep.

Tobirama had managed to untie himself at the same time and was now trying to decipher the runes on his arms and the slab of rock they were on. He scowled in frustration. That did not make sense at all!

 

* * *

 

Madara breathed a sigh of relief as they safely avoided the deadly pit of snakes.

“Thank god I don’t have to use the tips Orochimaru gave me last time I saw him.” He mumbled to Itama and nearly bumped into him, when he suddenly stopped.

He was squinting at a sign on the wall and suddenly swore. In Madara's books that was not a good thing.

“Looks like you might have to.” Itama said with a strained smile.

Madara was sweating nervously but his breath was steady and the snakes swayed in rhythm to the flute and hissed back in delight. The two of them walked slowly and stopped at the next entrance, so Itama could see which one they needed. Sometimes it didn’t even matter - both had something horrible waiting for them in the end. Madara really hoped Izuna and Tobirama would meet them in the middle. That meant more time spent getting out and away from the locals.

"Yes! I know whose temple it is!" Itama exclaimed. Then traced a few more runes and added "And why they were taken!" He grabbed Madara by the elbow and dragged him down one of the corridors. "We have to hurry, before the moon rises!"

Madara just barely avoided losing the simple flute. Thank god for Izuna's insistence that he learn how to play.

There was a great rumble in the distance ahead of them.

 

Itama managed to snag Madara by his collar at the last second, before he fell down the narrow gap the pathway suddenly turned into. With his other hand he stopped his hat from flying off. Gotta look cool and all.

They stood there, panting for breath before the steps beneath their feet gave out. They fell, panicked screams following in their wake.

The rumbling in the distance continued still. Very ominous that one. Probably very bad too.

 

Itama tightened his grip on Madara's collar on instinct, so at least they would not be separated. He unwound his whip and threw it around one of the rocks to the side in an attempt to slow down their descend. He succeeded in making them sway in that direction and right into the small tunnel under it. They tumbled gracelessly inside, groaning from the impact with the hard stone.

“I hate this place.” wheezed Madara face-first into the floor.

“Extremely unpleasant trip.” Next to him, Itama shakily nodded. He patted his head for his fedora, his eyes widening when it wasn't there. “My hat!” He swore. He quickly unwound his whip from the rock above and looked carefully into the darkened pit for his hat.

“It's gone.” he said mournfully, like he couldn't just get another one. Well, it was understandable, it was a present from Izuna and he cherished it very much. A high whistle announced the presence of Madara's falcon and it dropped something soft on Itama's head before whistling at them again and flying deeper into the new tunnel.

 

* * *

 

Izuna and Tobirama looked at each other and cursed in unison. The rumbling continued, just to spite them.

“What the fuck do you mean 'It wouldn’t be a good idea, if that water touched us'?” Izuna screeched.

Tobirama growled in frustration and pinched the bridge of his nose, brushing some of the strange ink on his face.

“I said, that according to the runes around, we're supposed to be marked as vessels for gods of some sort.” He replied.

“Well let’s remove them then!” exclaimed Izuna and began rubbing ineffectively at the marks on his face. “What else? You mentioned some water, but there's none here?” Izuna continued and tried to scrub off the paint from his nails.

Tobirama tapped one claw-painted finger on his biceps in thought.

“What you're doing isn't working, stop irritating your skin.”

“This isn't working? Well I wasn't asking you, Mr. Catwoman!” Izuna glared and grumbled at Tobirama.

“This is your way of telling my markings resemble those of a cat?” Tobirama raised an amused eyebrow.

“I was referring to something else, but now that I look at them, I guess they do? They're blue black ones, kind of look like spirals?” Izuna shrugged.

Tobirama hummed absently as he thought.

“You asked about the water earlier,” he said suddenly “I don't know either, according to the runes, the ink, or whatever it is, will react with water, specifically water from this place. For the moment our priority should be getting down from here.”

“Well. You don't have to tell me twice. What do my markings look like anyway?” Izuna snorted.

“Like a fox?” he offered after looking at his face more closely. “You have whiskers too, and that would be elongated ears around your own. And a painted scowl on your brow.”

“Really? Huh, alright.” Izuna raised a brow. “Good thing there's no water here.”

A loud rumbling interrupted him. Water burst from the lowest of the holes littering the pit around them.

“You just had to!” Tobirama glared at him. “Did you not learn anything from the first time you did that!”

“Absolutely not. We're fucked!” Izuna gaped in shock at the water gathering at the bottom of the cavern.

“Not yet you aren't.” Itama's automatic response reached his ears. Izuna spun around to where the voice came from.

“My hero!” Izuna cried happily and did a small dance.

“Try not to fall off the edge, that would be disastrous.” grumbled Tobirama and snatched him closer to the center of the stone alter they were on. He was also very relieved that Itama and Madara had found them. They were standing in the entrance of one of the corridors a few meters above but not very close to their location.

“How the fuck did they even get you there?” Madara shrieked in confusion.

“Fuck if i know, we were unconscious at the time!” Tobirama informed him. “They probably have rigged a pulley system of sorts, but we were a little tied up then, so i can't confirm that.”

“We have to get you out of there before the water reaches you.” Itama groaned.

“That sounds like a good idea.” Tobirama and Izuna said in unison.

“Thankfully, they bound us with enough rope, so we can make a lasso out of it all!” exclaimed Izuna, while tying all the rope into a long one with Tobirama's help.

“I'm sure that sounded better in your head.” Tobirama snorted.

“Fuck you Senju!” was Izuna's cheerful response.

“No, thank you, I like your brother better.” Tobirama smirked at him, ignoring Itama and Madara spluttering in embarrassment. You’d think they’d be used to it by now.

“So, what’s new?” asked Itama, as he and Madara carefully moved themselves to the cavern where Susano'o, Madara's falcon, was waiting at.

“Oh nothing, just that if we touch this water, we have a great chance of a) dying, or b) being possessed or something, according to the runes Tobirama deciphered.” Izuna replied casually.

“Cheery. Let's avoid that.” Itama said carefully after he threw a glance at the very green-looking water that was still gathering. They were closer to the stranded damsels now.

The makeshift lasso was wrapped around one of the very few stones Tobirama could reach, but it would have to do, they had no other choice. They tied the bit of leftover rope around their waists and swung off the edge.

 

A deep rumble and the cavern shook as more water began pouring in.

They changed direction, regardless of their best efforts, and collided painfully with the wall.

Another rumble. The stone they had wrapped the lasso around fell off.

 

Izuna shrieked as they fell, flailing around with his arms to grasp at something, anything to slow them down. His fingers scraped against stone a few times but he couldn't hold on. There was a sharp tug on the rope, Izuna stared with bated breath and wide eyes at the bubbling water, so much closer than he imagined. There was probably no way to charm it into not touching them. He looked up, Tobirama had hit a partly broken off stone pillar, on his way down and had managed to hold on to it. There was a subtle twist to his face that said he was probably injured. That was very bad but Tobirama was tough, an injury wouldn't deter him.

“Hey!” he yelled at tobi, concerned, "You steady there?"

Tobirama grunted in response and grasped the rope and secured it to the stone.

“Climb up.” he called, so Izuna did.

Madara's falcon flew around them worriedly, whistling.

“My, what a small rock do you have here!” exclaimed Izuna after he had nimbly climbed up.

Tobirama's eye twitched and he visibly restrained himself from face palming.

"Thanks." he said dryly.

The ground rumbled again and more streams exploded from the surrounding caves.

 

* * *

 

“TOBIRAMA!”

The scream echoed in the cavern the moment the Senju hit the surface of the water. Light, strong and blinding shone before the water swallowed him, and even then it continued, muted but...

Izuna's eyes were wide as he watched the light grow and change shape and, oh shit, it was above the water now! He could not bear to look at it, his eyes hurt. But still he tried, he had to try, had to help, save Tobirama somehow!

Before his straining eyes the light finally rearranged into the form of a huge two tailed cat.

Yellow eyes regarded him curiously.

 

Izuna swore softly.

“G-give him- give him back!” he stammered at the god? Strange entity? Actual blue-black cat that was on fire? While in the water?

Those were not questions Izuna could ponder on at the moment. His brain was attempting to find a way out of this situation. Ah hell. They were completely fucked.

“How curious.” the cat purred, yellow eyes still fixed on him.

“Give him BACK!” he shakily stood up on his precarious perch and glared with all his might. His next words were drowned by the wave of water one of the cat's tails threw at him. His balance lost, he shrieked and closed his eyes tightly when his skin glowed. Distantly he heard a low displeased growl. Then he hit the water.

 

One blinding lightshow later…the changes were, rather visible. And they were not happy about it.

“You witch.” growled the nine tailed fox that had been Izuna just seconds before.

"You look like a wet dog!" Matatabi responded with pleased laughter.

"How dare you!" Kurama bristled, which just made Matatabi laugh harder, much to Itama and Madara's complete bafflement, icy terror and shock aside.

 

“We have to move.” Madara whispered harshly, cold rage overtaking him. His brother and husband were just turned into, into, whatever these creatures were! He was going to find those damn cultists and make them pay! He snarled and bared his teeth.

Next to him Itama was frozen in shock, mouthing something incomprehensible. The rumbling laughter of the creature that took his brother snapped him out of it. He clamped his jaw shut and narrowed his eyes. There had to be a counter. There always was. They had gotten out of stickier messes before. They could do it again!

 

Chanting echoed from the caverns as cultists began to emerge. Madara snarled and quickly zeroed on the ones on their level. Next to him Itama had a calculating look on his face, hands clenched into fists at his sides. It was Susano'o that threw the first punch however, or, claw actually, as she launched herself at the nearest cultist with a vicious cry.

While she took him down, Madara too threw himself at the nearest distracted cultist, quickly taking him down. He narrowed his eyes and dodged a sloppy punch, now who here was the leader of this bunch.

A shocked cry and crunch from the side told him Itama had slipped on his brass knuckles and was delivering sweet, sweet justice to the cultists. He punched another one and narrowly side-stepped a kick. He ducked and let the cultist trying to jump on his from behind collide with the one in front of him, sending both of them over the stone railing into the water below.

Itama meticulously punched cultist after cultist, gracefully keeping himself just out of reach. He did not like using violence, but he had to stop them, had to make sure his brother and husband turned back to normal. And for that, he needed to get to a cavern on the other side. He had spotted someone who looked to be the head cultist. He eyed arch above and moved his hand to the side only to grasp at air, as he suddenly remembered his lasso was now probably at the bottom of the impromptu lake. Fine.

 

What was that noise?

 

Didn’t matter. He could still make this work. He punched another cultist and took a few steps back then ran forward and launched himself up over the cultists.

 

What was that rustling noise?

 

What! What was a child doing here!

 

Sand encased him, trapping his limbs securely. He braced himself for a hard fall but instead he stayed afloat.

 

Itama stared into the impassive eyes of a red haired child that stood on the same perch he had launched himself at. From below he could hear Madara’s offended curses. He too had been caught by this strange sand. Itama had the sinking feeling he knew what had happened to this child. The tanuki pendant and make up he wore were a clear giveaway.

“Hey kid,” Itama softened his voice to be less frightening but winced as a voice rang out.

“Ah, Gaara. You have done well. Bring them here.” The head cultist ordered. And Itama really, really wanted to punch that guy, and so help him, he would.

He startled as the kid – Gaara – stepped on a small cloud of sand and floated towards the head cultists, both Itama and Madara following him encased in their cocoons. Madara was still trashing, but the cultists had managed to gag him. Either to protect their ears or prevent him from stopping their leader’s monologue. There was bound to be one. Heh. Itama mentally groaned at his own pun. Izuna was going to laugh at that one. If- when they got him back. Itama would make sure of that.

 

The head cultist had an insufferably smug look on his face as he addressed the tailed beasts in the water below.

“Great beasts!” his voice boomed, “You have been freed and given hosts. Go forth and cleanse this world of filth! Remake the world as the Moon Goddess intended to.” he proclaimed viciously.

Itama watched in amusement as the two tailed cat made a show of yawning, while the nine tailed fox snorted.

“Go forth I say!” the head cultists didn’t like that. “You have your sacrifices! Drain their life force and devour them to increase your power!”

 

Kurama and Matatabi shared a look.

 

Matatabi stretched and sharpened her claws, demolishing a nearby rock in the process. Kurama let his tails sway around idly, they seemed to get longer and-

A fox tail knocked the cultist off his perch. He shrieked helplessly as he fell and then with a sickening crack collided with a rock.

There was no light show for him, as he slipped into the water.

 

Gaara stared impassively as the cultist fell into the water.

 

“There, a sacrifice.” said Kurama wickedly. “I think that also counts as 'draining the life force', don’t you think, Matatabi?” He grinned sharply at the assembled cultists.

“Indeed I think it does,” she growled in dark delight, “I wouldn’t want to devour that one however, who knows where it’s been? I don’t want to give my host indigestion.” she added, sniffing in disdain.

Kurama laughed maliciously and eyed the rest of the cultists, who looked rather terrified and very sorry. That wouldn’t save them.

 

Itama threw a glance in Madara’s direction. He looked as bewildered as Itama felt. The tide had turned. The question was – in whose favor.

Itama’s feet touched the ground. Wait. Touched? He noticed the sand around him had lessened, and his feet really were on the ground! A few wiggles and shakes made his cocoon crumble.  None of the cultists around him paid him any mind. He even noticed one trying to sneak away!

A flying rock swiftly stopped the attempt however. Was that… Yes! His lasso!

Itama sent a quick thanks to whichever of the two beings had thrown it that way. It may not have been on purpose, but Itama wasn’t going to let the opportunity to pass. He vaulted over a cultist, delivered a punch to Madara’s cocoon, helping him get free then got out of the way. Madara looked ready to punch a cultist, had been gearing up for that the past few minutes, and punch a cultist he did. And another, and another.

 

“Dropping like flies. Pathetic.” Kurama dryly commented.

“Make sure to speak with my host later, will you.” Matatabi idly swayed her tails in the water, searching for more things to throw at unsuspecting cultists.

 

The cacophony of screams and battle cries continued until…

“Are you all quite done?” an annoyed voice rumbled.

 

Kurama paused in describing how Itama was swinging around knocking cultists out, while Matatabi snickered.

“Oh great. Party's over. Everyone go home!” He yelled.

“Oh, Shukaku!” Matatabi exclaimed. “How nice of you to join us!”

 

Itama warily turned away from the cultist he was fighting. At this point of the day, or was it night already, he was not at all surprised to see a giant raccoon where the red-haired kid had been. The pendant he wore was a big enough clue for that.

 

“It’s past Gaara’s bedtime. Wrap this nonsense up, will you.” Shukaku said annoyance still clear in his voice.

Shukaku already looked tired, but now, Itama noticed that the circles under his eyes grew bigger.

 

“Oh stop ruining our fun!” Matatabi grumbled and idly climbed a rock formation.

“Yeah, don’t you have sake to drink?” Kurama scowled up at him.

“Har har, stop picking on your elders, brat!” snapped Shukaku. “But if you’ve got any, I’m saving it for” he made a thoughtful pause “after twenty years.”

Both Kurama and Matatabi gave him incredulous looks.

“No, you’re not eight, you’re like three.” Shukaku scowled at nobody in particular.

“Your host is a kid! That’s why you’re not drinking!” Matatabi howled with laughter.

“Cut that out!” yelled Shukaku, “Would you drink if yours was? I think not!” he grunted.

“But he’s not!” taunted Matatabi, while Kurama snickered.

 

Shukaku threw a ball of sand at the two of them. They barely bothered to dodge. Kurama looked up at Itama.

“Hey you! Lover-boy! You with the hair… lit by… starlight- what the hell. Where do you even get these lines, terrible. Find yourself a better poetry source. You can’t be my host with poetry like th- oh you wrote it. Even worse-“ Kurama began a one-sided argument with Izuna, while the others watched on, some bewildered, others very delighted (Matatabi).

“Never you mind, if I can write poetry…” he trailed off then refocused on Itama again, “Hey you! With the hat! Get back to fighting the cultists, narrating was fun!” Kurama said, making Matatabi fall from her perch with laughter.

 

Itama punched a cultist on instinct, then paused and narrowed his eyes at the fox. This would not do.

“What about the other one?” Matatabi asked after she climbed on another perch and shook the excess water from her fur. Or was it flames, flame-fur.

“Ugh. Don’t remind me of Shouty.” Kurama said flatly.

“Who do you think you’re calling shouty!” Madara shouted on principle.

 

Itama tackled him just in time to avoid a wave of sand.

“Oh don’t encourage him. He can heckle you for years.” Shukaku grumbled at them.

 

Madara was about to retort to that, because clearly, his self-preservation instincts were out the window at this point. However Itama slapped a hand over his mouth.

“We need a plan.” He whispered. Madara looked like he was about to protest again, so he added “Something that doesn’t involve ‘just punch people.’” and that made Madara quiet down again.

Strangely the god-like beings weren’t paying them any attention, Itama noticed. All the cultists were rounded up by the sand, so they weren’t about to harm them either.

Madara tapped his hand.

“What do we know about them” he asked quietly.

There was no worry he would be overheard, the three gods were happily, or annoyedly conversing with one another, as siblings usually did.

“If I read the runes correctly, we’re in one of the moon goddess Kaguya’s temples. Usually this would be a great cause for concern, as I’m sure you remember our last adventure in such a temple.” Itama whispered back.

“Yeah, no. This is a great cause for concern still.” Madara shuddered and rubbed at his eyes. Memories of his own kidnapping were still not that faded. And that plant-like creature… He sure hoped it didn’t survive the collapse of that temple.

“Now, as I understand it, the cultists are trying to gather the other gods, so they can revive the goddess herself.” Itama continued then shook a nearby cultist for confirmation.

The readily given confirmation did not make them feel better at all.

“But, the good news is, I don’t think these three gods are keen on this whole idea, or at least I hope so.” He finished and threw a glance at the gods in question.

 

“You could say that.”

Itama and Madara startled as Shukaku suddenly joined their conversation.

“You could say what?” Itama attempted to play dumb.

Matatabi had scaled another stalactite and threw him an fond look. Itama was greatly reminded of Tobirama.

Kurama too had moved closer to them and leveled them with a judgmental look.

“Stupid doesn’t suit you, lover-boy.” He rumbled in annoyance. “What suits you is starlight and- seriously. Cut it with the poetry. I will devour your life force if you don’t shut it.” Kurama growled at Izuna.

Sadly, this would have been better if not said aloud but using mental communication, as Matatabi and Tobirama were. As it was, Madara took matters into his own hands and used the one plan he had available.

 

He threw himself yelling at Kurama.

“I hate that guy.” Kurama commented.

 

Shukaku threw Itama and exasperated look. Itama just shrugged then set his gaze on Matatabi.

He leaped at her with a cry of “Give me back my bother!”

“Both of them are idiots, are you sure about this.” Shukaku facepalmed and muttered.

‘Yes.’ Gaara said.

 

Kurama had caught Madara in his paw, and held him gingerly and as far away as possible. Both looked rather miffed at this turn of events. Kurama looked like two people were annoying him at once, and that was probably the truth.

 

Itama landed in Matatabi’s outstretched paw.

“That was brave but reckless.” She scolded, and her voice we so much like Tobirama’s that Itama’s heart ached.

“Give him back.” Itama repeated stubbornly.

“Relax kid, your brother is just fine.” Matatabi reassured him with a patient smile.

 

“Are you all quite done with this stupidity!” Shukaku yelled over Kurama threatening to slam dunk both Uchihas in the water. “As Gaara’s future guardians, you’re supposed to set some sort of good example!” he continued annoyed.

The silence after this was deafening. And of course Madara was the first to break it with his yelling.

“The what now?”

“Deal!” purred Matatabi.

Shukaku stared at them tiredly. Itama certainly sympathized, this was normal behavior for Madara and Tobirama.

“That’s as good as an answer I guess.” Shukaku grumbled. “You might want to get out of the water, before the moon shows up.” He added as an afterthought.

 

It was amazing how his words spurred his siblings into action. In mere seconds they had scaled up the rocks and settled in the wide open corridor near the ceiling of the cavern.

“We have to get out of here. Soon.” Kurama grumbled as he shook water from his tails.

“Sure. Do you see an escape road?” Matatabi asked, as she set Itama on the ground and nudged Kurama to do the same with Madara. Both looked unhappy about this turn of events, for some inexplicable reason.

“We might be able to use one of the corridors, however…” Itama trailed off as he looked at his companions. Sudden bright light made him shield his eyes.

 

“We won’t be able as we are now.” Tobirama finished, standing in Matatabi’s place. “Are you waiting for a special invitation?” he pointedly asked Kurama, as he crossed his arms in front of his chest and raised an unimpressed eyebrow at him.

“Fine.” The great fox huffed. “And hurry up, will you. I don’t want to be stuck with this moron forever.” He scowled and disappeared in light.

“-think you’re calling a moron!” Izuna was sprawled on the floor after the light died. Yelling, as he was wont. And gravely offended. As usual.

 

Itama breathed a sigh of relief. His brother was back and looked unharmed, and so was his lover. There was no time but he still gave Tobirama a crushing hug, while Madara helped Izuna to his feet and checked that all his bones are in order. He absolutely ignored the protest that ‘it was just one time, brother!’, because, if it was just one time, then there could be a second one, and Madara was not taking this chance.

“This way.” A quiet voice interrupted. Wary green eyes stared up at them.

Tobirama took a few careful steps towards the red-haired kid. He crouched down and opened his arms.

“Gaara was it?” he asked steadily. “Would you like to get out of this musty temple?” he gave him a small smile.

“I’m not scared of you. I already beat you.”Gaara stared at him in confusion. He moved closer to the others.

“And you shouldn’t be.” Tobirama nodded thoughtfully. “But I find that a little comfort is never out of place.” He said simply.

Gaara regarded him cautiously then slowly moved closer to Tobirama and wrapped his small arms around his neck.

“I want to go outside.” He mumbled.

“Alright, we’re going outside and you never have to return here again.” Tobirama nodded and stood up with Gaara cuddled in his arms.

There was a distant rumble as more water gathered and the first rays of moonlight flittered through the crack in the ceiling.

“Get a move on people!” Izuna urged and they all took off in the direction Gaara pointed at.

 

Being led out of the temple by someone who actually knew their way and could use the sand to float made the journey much shorter and less stressing.

 

* * *

 

“I can’t believe Mito told you to keep it” Izuna complained with a pout.

“No need to be jealous. If you still wish to speak with Kurama you know where to find him now.” Tobirama pointed out smugly, not looking up from his scroll.

His friend snorted.

“Yeah, maybe not soon. He might make good on his threat to strangle me.” He said, lips twitching with suppressed delight. “His face though!”

“It was amusing to see him refer to Itama with one of your nicknames.” Tobirama agreed.

“I’m gonna fight him for favorite uncle though!” Izuna said determinately.

“Good luck. You're going to need it.” Tobirama snorted. “He is a huge nine tailed fox, despite looking like a human at the moment.” He added.

Not that Izuna needed the reminder, really. It hadn’t even been three weeks since the last adventure went down.

“I know that!” He huffed. “But! I have candy and a charming smile on my side!”

Tobirama gave him an unimpressed look.

 

“And a tendency to always have forbidden products to give to eager children and brothers.” Itama added, passing by.

“Aww, sweet-face, are you gonna let go of that soon?” Izuna turned and pouted at his boyfriend.

“No. Kawarama is banned from fireworks 90% of the time for a reason.” Itama said and Tobirama nodded.

“It was one time!” Izuna protested not for the first time. “And I didn’t give him fireworks but my fire dancing supplies.” He wanted that to be noted. How Kawarama had made those explode continued to be a damn mystery.

Madara made his way into the room then, carrying the fresh scent of excellent coffee. One of the cups was in Tobirama's hands in seconds. Almost as fast as Madara glued himself to Tobirama's side, fitting in the free space around his boyfriend.

Tobirama gave a pleased hum after he took a sip from his coffee. He leaned into Madara and rested his head on his shoulder.

“We're discussing the sparking fire incident.” Tobirama said before Madara could ask.

“Again?” Madara snorted incredulously. “How is it that we always come back to it?”

“What’s got your feathers ruffled?” Izuna deflected, expertly honing in on Madara's mood.

Madara gave him a sour look.

 

“I called Hashirama's house because that moron is still not picking up his own phone and do you know who picked up?” He grumbled.

“Aah, our newest friend?” Izuna grinned.

“Yes.” Madara confirmed with a grimace. “If you call him that to his face he will certainly main you.” He warned.

“I’ll take my chances.” Izuna shrugged. “In fact, I’ll do that when I go to pick up Gaara from his play-date with Naruto later.” He said boldly, ready to face certain death in the face and grin.

“And I’ll come with you of course,” Itama added smoothly, “someone has to bring Gaara back home after Kurama inevitably claws off your face.”

Izuna made offended noises.

Itama ignored the over dramatics with practiced ease and instead rested his chin on the top of Izuna’s head. That Izuna immediately leaned on him was another added benefit.

 

“Hey, no funny business, we’re still in the room.” Madara called out irritated.

“We can leave the room.” Itama said primly, raising an eyebrow at Madara.

From where he was practically draped on Tobirama, Madara huffed and wisely dropped the topic.

 

“We have two options.” Tobirama suddenly broke the comfortable silence.

“What’s this about?” Madara asked lazily.

“Naruto and Gaara appear to have consumed a high amount of sugar and,” he paused, eyes distant as he listened to Matatabi, while the others all stared at him in horror.

Madara’s annoying ringtone cut off whatever else he was going to say.

“You’re where?” Madara demanded after Hashirama stopped babbling on the phone. “Whatever even possessed you to go-” Madara blanched at his reply. “We’re on our way. And I’m tattling to Mito after this is over!” he threatened, easily ignoring Hashirama’s pleas.

“I’ll tell Kurama we can’t pick up Gaara today.” Tobirama offered with a displeased scowl. He would prefer not to but he absolutely refused to drag Gaara into whatever situation his brother had gotten himself into. Besides, Naruto and Gaara got on like a house on fire and Kurama was going to protect them with his life.

“Time to get our emergency bags then.” Itama announced getting up, Izuna clinging to him and pouting. “To the next adventure!”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure I got all instances of birds I used, as I wasn't sure which ones madara liked when I started writing this XD so some birb inconsistencies might exists.


End file.
